


A Good Man Is Hard To Find

by Beefmaster



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Autistic Richard Hendricks, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Self-Improvement, aka canon Richard amirite ladies, if you ship Chidi and Eleanor on the Good Place this is the fic for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 00:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13019532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beefmaster/pseuds/Beefmaster
Summary: “You think I can be person?  I mean, a better person, you- you think I can be a better person?” Richard babbles.“Absolutely.  Richard, you’re capable of anything.”Richard works on being a better person.  Then he and Jared make out.  The post-season 4 redemption arc we all deserve.





	A Good Man Is Hard To Find

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic so be nice! You can be as mean as you want on my second fic.
> 
> This takes place post-season 4, but also Erlich isn't lost in Tibet because that's inconvenient to me.
> 
> I'd like to thank heartbeatsoftheninja on Tumblr for beta-ing, winterboobbear on Tumblr for trying to find me a beta, and my parents for paying for my HBO Go.

“Oh Richard, you’re not a bad person.”

Jared is crouched in what is surely an uncomfortable position under Richard’s loft bed.  Despite his crouch, he still seems to loom over Richard, who is huddled as tightly into the corner as he could possibly manage to be.  Despite his own love for cramped, awkward positions (“an autistic pretzel,” his sister Maggie called it), Jared’s occasional disregard for his own personal comfort disoriented Richard, especially since Jared’s favorite position seemed to be looming over him.

“It feels that way,” Richard mumbles.  “I fucked up, Jared!  I treated you like, like garbage. I tried to install fucking _malware_ on people’s phones, I mean, who does that?  I’m like a _gargoyle_ of the Internet, just- just, and now, after all the shit I did to you, you’re comforting me?  Jared, I’m a monster.”

“Richard, no!” Jared says, or, more accurately, shouts.  Richard flinches.

“Richard, you are not a monster,” Jared continues.  “You are Robinson Crusoe, and I’m your boy Friday.  You’re Elizabeth Bennet, and I’m your Charlotte Lucas.  You’re Don Quixote, and I’m your Pancho Villa-”

“Sancho Panza.  Pancho Villa was a general in the Mexican Revolution,” Richard corrects.  He wonders if Jared has any references from after 1900.  

“Richard,” Jared continues.  Richard loves it when Jared says his name.  Not sure what that’s about.  “You’ve done some bad things, some hurtful, childish, abominable things, some things that-”

“Jared, do you have a point?”

“Oh, yes!  Richard, you’ve done bad things, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.  I’ve done bad things too; when I was at Hooli I orchestrated _countless_ brain-rapes of hapless start-ups, I helped Gavin Belson steal data from Hooli users, I once spit in Tim Cook’s salad.”

“You what?”

“I’m not proud of what I’ve done, Richard.  My point is, I understand how ambition can get in the way of decency.  But that doesn’t mean you’re a bad man.  You’re only bad if you don’t try to be better.”  At this point, Jared has leaned farther into Richard’s personal space, his face inches away from Richard’s.  Richard is no expert on socially appropriate behavior, but surely this does not qualify.  From this distance, Richard can can tell that Jared’s breath smells vaguely of green tea.  He wonders what it would taste like.  (Wait, what??)  Richard shakes his head in a vain attempt to clear it.

“You think I can be person?  I mean, a better person, you- you think I can be a better person?” Richard babbles.

“Absolutely.  Richard, you’re capable of anything.”

And so Richard tries.  To be a better person, that is.  He helps Erlich clean the bathroom, he helps Big Head write a lesson plan for the class he’s still somehow teaching, he donates $50 to the Flint Child Health and Development Fund.  He Skypes his mother and walks her through making her first Facebook post.  He compliments Dinesh and Gilfoyle on their code when they deserve it, which mostly just opens him up to ridicule, but hey, they crucified Jesus (What the fuck Richard???  Did you just compare yourself to Jesus??).

And it turns out Richard _likes_ being a good person.  He realizes that before the Hoolicon debacle, even before Pied Piper became a real company, he had spent too much of his time and energy focused on surviving to really focus on helping others.  He’s spent his whole life evading bullies, battling panic attacks, and generally navigating a world whose rules made absolutely no sense.  Now he’s finally in a place where he can put his energy into other people and it feels good.  He wishes he could talk to every awkward, weird little kid in the world and tell them that it gets better, that one day they’ll build something incredible, do something incredible, and all the years they spent struggling just to feel like a person will be worth it.  And then he thinks maybe he _can_ tell that to every weird little kid, maybe he could go on a speaking tour, maybe the founder of Pied Piper could come to elementary schools and middle schools across America, giving talks about how it’s good to be weird.  

He brings the subject up with Jared, asks him how difficult it would be to set something like that up, but Jared just gives him a funny look and says, “Richard, you want to do public speaking?”

Oh right.  That’s why he can’t do that.

But speaking of Jared, he’s probably the best part of being a good person.  In his quest to better himself, he’s been spending even more time than usual with Jared.  “You were the one who saved me from the den of iniquity that was Hooli, it only seems right that I should save you from the villainy that haunts you,” Jared tells him with his characteristic earnest expression.  Richard isn’t sure how he feels about being saved, per say, but he does enjoy spending time with Jared.  They’ve spent weekends volunteering at an animal shelter and playing cards at the senior center, where they learn Richard has an uncanny knack for bridge.  They even went to a Habitat for Humanity build once, until Richard smashed his thumb with a hammer and nearly passed out.  After that, they decided to restrict their philanthropy to activities with no possibility of blunt force trauma.

But mostly Richard and Jared have been spending time together… just being together.  It starts one day when Richard asks Jared to take him bird watching, hoping to assuage his guilt over the way he’s treated Jared in the past.

“You want to go bird watching with me?” Jared asks, incredulous.  He touches his fingers to his chest in a move that seems designed to show off his long, slender fingers (“piano fingers,” Maggie would call them).

“Yeah, I thought it might be fun,” Richard says with a shrug.  “I mean, it is fun, right?”

“Oh, absolutely.  Just last week I saw the most magnificent California scrub jay,” Jared says brightly.  “It’s a fairly common bird, but it’s still quite the thrill,” he adds, apologetically.   

“I’m sure it is,” Richard reassures him.

So one Saturday they pile into Jared’s Chevy Volt and drive to the Muir Woods.   It’s a long drive, but it’s surprisingly pleasant.  Richard pulls up a game of Trivial Pursuit on his phone and the hour and a half trip flies by.

“Holy shit,” Richard says as he stumbles out of the car and onto the gravel parking lot.  “This is gorgeous.”  

“I’m surprised you’ve never been here before.  It’s truly the gem of the Bay Area.”  Jared smears sunscreen on his pale face.  

“I don’t exactly spend a lot of time outdoors.”  A small dollop of sunscreen is caught on Jared’s lower lip.  “I guess you’ll, uh, have to show me around.”

“Oh Richard, I would be honored to be your guide on this maiden voyage.”  Jared finally manages to rub in that last little bit of sunscreen.  Richard wishes it were still there.

Jared leads Richard through an overgrown path.  He points out various trees along the way.  

“That’s a bigleaf maple,”

“ _Acer macrophyllum_ ,” Richard supplies.

“Yes! And that’s a California bay laurel.”

“ _Umbellelaria californica_ ,” Jared looks at him quizzically.  “I got really into scientific names when I was 16,” Richard explains, blushing.  “As you can tell, I was very popular in high school.”

Jared laughs, then immediately looks apologetic. “Oh Richard, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Jared, it’s ok.  It was a joke, you can laugh.”

And so Jared does.  He lets out a big, violent laugh that probably scares away all the birds they’re supposed to be watching.  It’s charming, in its own way.  

After their bird watching trip, Richard keeps inviting Jared on more and more outings, ostensibly so he can learn to be a better person, but if he’s being honest, it’s because he genuinely likes spending time with Jared.  It turns out that when they aren’t in Pied Piper-related crisis mode, they have a good rapport.  Conversations with Jared are so much easier than they are with anybody else.  Jared doesn’t mind if Richard doesn’t look him in the eyes, and Richard has explained to Jared that touching him firmly is okay, but light touches make his skin crawl.  Richard is a better person when he’s with Jared.  He’s more kind, more thoughtful, and more serene.  When he’s with Jared, Richard almost feels like the good man Jared’s so convinced he can be.

And, alright, there _may_ be another reason Richard likes spending time with Jared.  It’s entirely possible that, as embarrassing as it is to admit, he might have a crush on Jared.  And by “might” he means he most definitely, certainly is completely smitten with Jared.  

It’s honestly a shock he hadn’t figured it out before.  Richard has known he was bisexual since he was 20 (and he should have known when he was 13 and a little bit obsessed with Billy Cranston from _Mighty Morphin Power Rangers._ )  And Jared is Richard’s type: tall, soft hair, sweet smile.  All he’s missing are big round glasses, surprisingly toned biceps, a pair of blue overalls… (ok, maybe Richard still has a bit of a thing for the Blue Power Ranger).  But Richard rarely experiences sexual attraction when he’s stressed, and his life has been pretty much one long waking stress dream since he met Jared.  It’s only now that Pied Piper is more or less on an even keel that he can really consider Jared in a romantic context.   And boy, does Richard consider him.  He considers Jared in the morning when Jared makes him coffee, he considers Jared at work when those long piano fingers tap on a keyboard just out of his line of vision.  He considers Jared when he goes to sleep and his bed just isn’t quite warm enough.  He considers Jared right before he goes to sleep and suddenly the covers are far, far too warm.  

(He’s talking about jerking off.  He jerks off thinking about Jared, ok?)

So he definitely has a crush on Jared.  But it’s a painfully stupid crush, because

  1. Jared is probably straight,
  2. Richard is, physically, an “acquired taste,” and
  3. Richard has treated Jared like absolute shit.



And really, the first two points don’t matter because that third point is such a big, overwhelming obstacle that it would be more productive to step into the garbage disposal than to continue harboring feelings for Jared.  Jared deserves someone who has never, would never betray him the way Richard has.  Sure, Richard is a better person than he was two months ago, but is that enough?  

 

Things come to a head on a Tuesday afternoon.  Jared mentions that he’s never had frozen yogurt, which absolutely boggles Richard, like, it’s not even that good, it’s just a thing you have to do, so Richard takes Jared to get frozen yogurt, his treat, because this situation _must_ be rectified.  So now it’s 4:17pm on a Tuesday in April and they’re sitting outside a TCBY in Palo Alto eating frozen yogurt and chatting and it’s so perfect and Richard’s chest only hurts a little bit when Jared smiles.  Jared is telling Richard stories about his days working on Nancy Pelosi’s staff that he imagines would be a lot funnier if he knew the first thing about politics, but are still pretty funny.  

“Nancy is nothing like you would imagine, Richard,” Jared says.  Richard doesn’t think he’s ever imagined Nancy Pelosi at all.  “She’s very hands-on.  She once tried to set me up with another one of her staffers.”

Richard’s heart jolts painfully. “She set you up?  You must have loved that, you minx.” ( _Richard shut up!!!!!!_ ) “Did you go on the date?”  

“I did.  Nothing came of it, but he was a very nice young man.”

Richard’s heart jolts again, but in a different way.  “Oh?  A-a man?  You like the boys?” Smooth.

Jared laughs dismissively.  “Richard, I went to Vassar.  Of course I like boys.”

Richard isn’t sure why Jared expects him to know so much about the reputation of tiny college in a state he’s never even been to.  Is everyone at Vassar queer?  Is that some piece of cultural knowledge that Richard missed out on because he-

WAIT.

Wait wait wait.  Did Jared just say he likes boys?  Richard is a boy!!!  Quick, Richard, say something!

“I’m boys too.”  Ok.  Say something other than _that._

“What?”  Jared furrows his brow in confusion.

“I’m, I, I also like boys.  Just, so you know.  We have that in common.  Ha ha.”

“Oh.”  Jared’s eyes are suddenly wide, like he just realized something.  Or he’s scared.  Or surprised.  Richard’s not good with facial expressions but there is definitely something going on on Jared’s face and it’s making him nervous. “Richard, would you- and I apologize if this is too forward- but would you like to go on a date with me?”

Richard laughs, which he immediately realizes is the wrong move when Jared’s face falls.  “Oh, no, Jared, sorry, yes, I’d love to, it’s just, I’m surprised you want to go on a date with _me_.”

“Richard, how can you say that?  Of course I would want to go out with you, you’re brilliant, handsome, charming, brave-”

“And an asshole,” Richard finishes for him.  “Jared, I’m- I mean, Jesus, have you already forgotten about Hoolicon?  About, about PoopFare?  About all the shit I put you through for my own selfish aims?”

At this point, Jared lays his hand over Richard’s.  Richard hadn’t realized his hand was shaking.  “Richard, of course I remember those things.  But you’ve done so many incredible things besides that.  You spent an entire afternoon teaching my friend Harold to use Microsoft Word.  Even after you smashed your thumb at the Habitat build, you kept bringing water to the other volunteers.   Richard, you tried to set up a nation-wide speaking tour to inspire young Autistic children.”  Jared pull Richard’s hand close to his chest.  “You’re a good man, Richard Hendricks.  I’m proud to be your friend, and I’d be even more proud to be your boyfriend.”

And that does it.  Because Jared just said the word _boyfriend_ and that’s _definitely_ not a socially acceptable thing to bring up to someone you only just asked out but fuck it, Richard’s never cared what’s socially appropriate.  Right now, he only cares about what’s good.  Richard leaps up and lunges across the table at Jared.  Their lips meet briefly in what could only technically be considered a kiss, but Jared gets the point and suddenly they’re making out outside a TCBY and even Richard knows that's not socially appropriate but Jared’s mouth does, in fact taste like green tea mixed with vanilla yogurt and something else that Richard can’t place, but hopefully he’ll have plenty of opportunities to figure it out.

Eventually they break apart when Richard feels the table wobble under him.  Jared helps him off the table and takes Richard’s face in his hands.  “Richard,” he whispers, “you’re so good.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> JSYK I've never seen the Power Rangers. I'm not sure why I chose that for Richard's first boy crush. Please comment with your first queer crush. Mine was Ellen Page.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at ladiesloveduranduran


End file.
